Chapter 1...
That's a good question. Well, I was raised in a strict Catholic family, with very little freedom and was never into casual sex. I jumped into a long-term relationship, thinking wow this must be love, it lasted 10 years with a kind and good man. Sadly we were lacking in that spark of unruly desire. I think he was asexual, he said it was because of his work-life stress, depression and body image issues but we never had the flames of passion.
We were best friends but not lovers. He was a traditional gentleman and paid for my clothes, spa day, rent, bills, food and holidays. He was the kindest person I ever met.
We were still very much in love but recognised that we had no sexual chemistry together. We never really did but we valued each other's friendship.
Our friendship was all-consuming we were always together. He never gave weight or paid attention to all the other bits that didn't fit. I felt so disappointed by our lack of intimacy and it was always on my mind, we had the "talk" a lot but it never made a difference. He always had excuses for why it was not possible.
I enjoy being cared for practically with money, spa days, gifts etc so online dating never really appealed to me. I will discuss this further in chapter 2.
Our break-up was an amicable one. Very respectful and we remain close.
It was still a painful process to go through. I kept thinking of all the years I wasted time in a relationship that had no passion. Once I got past that I thought I don't want to jump into a long-term relationship again. I want to explore sexually and emotionally. To truly enjoy life, to be safe and to get money to reach many goals I have.
